Eating is Hard Work

By: Lyn Patterson

@poetryntings

I’ve been in recovery for 15 years now

a silent struggle I’ve endured

when a huge part of your identity is being skinny

and tragedy forces you to alternate reality

the desperation will cause you

to cause you harm

at breakfast I force it down

at lunch I feel guilt

over indulgence

at dinner I despair

I avoid mirrors after meals

I blame clothes for calories

I talk to no one

when loss sparks relapse

and pain can’t be manifested

the little voice in my head

relishes in the easy way out…

hunger becomes difficult to recognize

I’ve been in recovery for 15 years now

but eating is still hard work…

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